Sign up for helpful tips, special offers and more!
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed.
His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful! But it sure is hot! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town.
He got out, and with all his strength in his weak flippers, he pushed the car over hill and dale. As luck would have it, there was a mechanic in town, and he told the penguin that he'd have to spend some time with the car.
He ordered the tallest vanilla ice cream he could hold between his vestigial wings The cone was so tall that more of it ended up on the penguin than in him! That was very very good!
He waddled back to the mechanic who was ready to give the little fellow an update.
The mechanic looked at the penguin sternly. The gaskets and seals on the engine were severely damaged after years of driving without a routine check, and it was certainly going to be expensive.
A set of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "OK, I'll serve you, but don't start anything. One day the wife went in for a medical exam and when she came home she reported to her husband, "The doctor says I have the heart of a year-old, lungs of a year-old, and the blood pressure of a year-old.
And what did he say about your year-old ass?
The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man, I did not stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the crew, eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man and that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status.Fredericksburg Texas Online - the premier Online Visitor Guide for Fredericksburg Tx and the Hill Country of Texas!
When planning your next Texas VACATION let us be your Guide to the BEST of Fredericksburg and the Hill Country! Pet Emergency?
Read no further and call us right away! Town and Country Animal Hospital was established in Salina in and has been in its present location since and was purchased from Dr.
King in by Dr. Karen Hale-Young.
Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong and more than two million dollars in cash near the Rio Grande.
We have several properties for sale around Georgia, visit our "Directions" link at the top of the page for a list of land for sale* Footnotes  The principal and interest is fixed for the life of the loan, however, we do collect the county taxes from you on a monthly basis and .
Freedom of speech is a principle that supports the freedom of an individual or a community to articulate their opinions and ideas without fear of retaliation, censorship, or legal timberdesignmag.com term "freedom of expression" is sometimes used synonymously but includes any act of seeking, receiving, and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used.
Make your own interactive visited countries map. Just select the countries you visited and share the map with your friends.